This is a hot topic that’s often debated in both religious and medical circles. Is it good for you or is it bad for you? Is it a sin or not? I often wonder why people feel the need to ask. If there were no doubt in our minds, we wouldn’t need to ask the question.

Does it Help You Love Your Partner?

Let’s first look at this from the viewpoint of purpose instead of sin or medical mantra. If we understand that loving one’s partner (present or future), and creating a lineage, are the highest purposes of our sexual organs, then masturbation can be qualified based on this intention.

What does that mean? Let’s say a married couple has to be separated for some time. Maybe it’s due to health, work, military duty or a mission. They may find themselves lonely and tempted at times. If they occasionally relieved their suppressed sexual energy through masturbation to avoid being tempted into an extra-marital affair, would that be wrong?

The problem is, masturbation can become a habit, even without porn. We can easily get used to our own form of stimulation and gratification to the point where we prefer it more than we want our partner. Research has shown that men and women who habitually masturbate experience a decrease in sexual satisfaction with a partner.

Sexual energy, like any energy, can be re-channeled into other healthy activities. We have the ability to divert thoughts and emotions from sex, by focusing on friendships and family, hobbies, work, study, exercise, etc. It can be really challenging and take a lot of effort, but making this effort expresses that we want to save the best part of our-self for our partner.

Health Begins in the Mind which Directs the Body

A happy, healthy, productive and loving adult is a person who’s learned to live with purpose. They’ve learned self-restraint and discipline to move toward their goals. This discipline also applies to love and relationships. A mature adult can reflect on their immediate choices and determine their intention from moment to moment.

Unfortunately, most of the population falls into the category of being not that disciplined, and somewhat emotionally needy. That’s why there’s so much debate on this topic. Masturbation is most often used as a lazy way of getting ones needs met. It’s usually a self-centered preoccupation that can turn into a compulsive behavior.

Watch this video from a pastor who gives a very balanced Biblical viewpoint:

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I Belong to You and You Belong to Me

Masturbation is the glue of porn addiction, but it can also be an addiction all by itself. Weather it becomes an independent addiction or not depends on the frequency and intention of the individual. Porn use is never good for a multitude of reasons. Masturbation without porn but connected to any kind of lust or self-indulgence doesn’t support healthy relationships either.

Our sexual organs have a very clear design. Male and female fit together for mutual pleasure, and there’s a potential for creating children out of that most pleasurable lovemaking. In marriage, two flesh become one. You could say we become the owners of each other’s sexual organs. We decide together as a couple how, when, where and for what purpose we engage in sexual activity.

Interesting Reading

• Where Masturbation Doesn’t Exist, TheAtlantic.com