Stages of Change – Day 54

In life, when you become conscious of a problem, you have the option to change that problem. This is no different with sexual integrity.

Know Where You Are

If you know where you are, then you can anticipate where you will be next. Sometimes people graduate to the next level, but then fall back to where they were before. Knowing what stage you’re in can help you stay on course.

What are the stages?

1. Contemplation

Fears and doubts, etc. Example should I join gym? I’ll look like an idiot. Important to note: you might end up back here if you slip (should I start all over again!!???!!!)

2. Preparation for change

Thinking things out well. This is the research phase. It’s important to anticipate obstacles. You don’t want to buy a gym membership and then never go because it doesn’t fit in your schedule.

3. Taking action

You start to see results. It’s new and exciting. You’re getting congratulated on your progress and feeling the payoff.

4. Maintenance.

Your momentum starts to lag at about 6 weeks to 6 months after you start. You’re getting bored, slacking off a bit. Your thinking is headed toward risky behavior.

You need to learn to maintain what you gained. This is a new skill set. If you take your eyes off the ball you’ll regress. The same way muscles become weak when you stop exercising—so don’t stop.

Relapse Alert:

Remember, you may go through these stages a few times. A relapse will bring up similar emotions again. If you learn your lesson, you can actually go through the stages much quicker the second time.

	Richard & Mari Curry have been Blessed in married since December 2005 and have four children. They love working together as a team and are passionate about caring for others, especially in the realm of marriage development. After Mari received her Masters of Divinity from Cheongshim Theological Seminary, she and Richard served as co-pastors in Florida. Since then, they moved to New Jersey and over the years have happily served in a variety of ministry roles from music to education. All the while, working together to serve the Blessed Marriage Project and now High Noon Couples. They were a part of the founding team in 2013 and have been a part of it ever since. They currently serve as the directors of Highnoon Couples. They love the Energize! Retreats because they help realize True Parent’s desire for healthy couples and reminds us of Heavenly Parent’s love and hope for us all! Contact Mari at: mari@kr.highnoon.org
	Crescentia & Leighton DeGoede have been Blessed in married since October 2010, and have three children. Crescentia is currently serving as the District Pastor of district 3 and local pastor of the Clifton Family Church. Previously Crescentia was the Director of the National Blessing and Family Ministry of FFWPU for six years. Both Leighton and Crescentia currently serve as Matching Supporters. Prioritizing their marriage, while juggling children, work, and community service has been an exciting challenge. But they continue to find that the more they invest in their marriage, the more they have to give in all areas of their lives. They love giving other couples the opportunity to infuse their marriages with love deposits through marriage enrichment programs.
	Christoph & Lena Yasutake have been Blessed in marriage since April 2002 and have three teenagers. They are both equally passionate about marriage education and helping blessed couples create happy and healthy families. The Energize! Retreats are one of their favorite ways to share this passion. They served in the Young Couples ministry for six years and are frequent guest speakers at Blessing Workshops.
	Kate Pugnoli has served as the Community Liaison and is also responsible for generating our monthly newsletter. A former journalist, she has a Masters of Religious Education from the Unification Theological Seminary where she took focused her studies on counseling courses. She has also had experience facilitating small groups. The mother of two sons, now Blessed in marriage, she lives in Tucson, AZ with her husband Simon Herbert. She is committed to working with the Blessed Marriage Project in hopes that marriage enrichment will be available to communities across the country and particularly to bring the Energize! Couples Retreat to as many couples as possible.