Validate & Put Aside
We shouldn’t deny or ignore our feelings, but sometimes we have to put them aside temporarily to better manage the immediate situation. That can be hard. It’s important to offer your feelings to God, and ask God to help you feel calm and find strength to deal with the situation.
It’s also important to recognize when you need support from others. There’s no shame in that. Please reach out if you can’t calm your thoughts and emotions, or you just need someone to talk to: firstname.lastname@example.org
Empowering Your Actions
Emotions are the powerhouse behind our actions. When we have strong feelings, we tend to act on them, and our actions can bring about a positive or negative response from others. That’s why it’s helpful to sort through our emotions and decide ahead of time what type of response we want before we act. Although no one can predict another person’s response, we’re more likely to get cooperation and discussion if we speak in a compassionate or non-threatening way.
If you react to your partner’s porn use in anger or frustration, it may cause him to diminish your feelings or even blame you. Your partner may also feel guilt, shame and hopelessness, which can cause him to dive right back into the unwanted behavior. One of the reasons he has this unhealthy behavior is because he hasn’t learned how to deal with his own feelings and reactions in an appropriate way yet.
Connecting to your holistic heart
To put aside your feelings of anger, hurt and frustration, you have to first be aware of each emotion, which you’ve hopefully done in the previous section. The next step is to connect to what your hopes and beliefs are about this relationship. That’s where the damage has hit you the hardest. You feel a loss, what you thought it was supposed to be has been compromised. But relationships can be restored. Restoration has to be built on some type of hope and positive belief.
In this assignment you need to explore your hopes, dreams and expectations for your relationship.
Answer the questions below in the form, or in your journal, or download the word doc.
Moving Forward with Hope
The object of the previous 2 sections was to understand and accept the way you feel, so you can take ownership of your own emotions. From this point you can find a place of hope where solutions begin. You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t want to find a solution.